Part II.  Love is Freedom

(Continued from Part I of Love Reflections. Please start there.)

Earlier in the 13^th chapter of 1 Corinthians Paul said “love is patient, love is kind”…and I would add, love is freedom. One of the greatest gifts to give another is accepting them as they are and giving them the space to be themselves. This is love (unconditional acceptance). This is freedom. This is the love God shows because God knows who we are. 

Paul also said “love does not boast, it is not proud…..” and implied in Corinthians, but to make it very clear, I would add love does not judge another, love does not try to make people and God in their human image. This is the trap for nicest or most well intended people, but the ego thrives on judgment and its related elements of opinions and expectations and hidden behind these are contempt.  We  can fall into thinking, someone(anyone), an acquaintance, friend, partner, spouse, child or even groups of people are not doing what "my" image (which is made up of a my opinions, my expectations, my beliefs, etc.) says they should be doing for me.

How do I not judge? 

It helps me to keep in mind and know that when I judge, I’m really judging myself. It also helps me to remember that the ego thrives on judgment, and the last thing I want to do is feed the ego. I don’t think I can stop judging without understanding the illusory nature of the world I think I see. It is understanding God’s kingdom is not here, it is HERE. It is looking at a person and instead of seeing a body, I see a child of God. Instead of seeing a world of separated bodies, I see oneness. Am I willing to see things differently? Am I willing to see without my physical eyes? (Note: This does not mean we are required to be friends with someone, spend time, or like their actions or that they shouldn’t go to prison.)

Am I willing to give up the world I created with all my image making for the world God created?

I can’t know and experience this love as long as I believe in something that is not there, that my physical eyes are showing me. 

Can I see their actions and their personality and know that is not who they are? 

Hidden behind judgment and opinions lies contempt. What I notice about contempt is most of the time we don’t realize it is there. It is good to look within and see where this may exist in us. As Martin Luther King Jr. said, "You have very little morally persuasive power with people who can feel your underlying contempt." 

Marianne Williamson in her book “A Return to Love” wrote, “A Course in Miracles says we think we are going to understand people in order to figure out whether or not they’re worthy of our love, but actually until we love them, we can never understand them. What is not loved is not understood. We hold ourselves separate from people and wait for them to earn our love, but people deserve our love because of what God created them to be.” 

This reminds me of another saying I’ve heard over the years. “The second I try to define you; I do not know you.”

Take a moment to think of who you may have been holding prisoner with your judgments, opinions, expectations, and image making? 

Give someone the gift of freedom today. It will free you; for when you enslave someone, you are really enslaving yourself, for what you give, you will receive. Give freedom!

Ben Phipps © 2024

Recommended song that came up during this reflection: “Life Uncommon” by Jewel.

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